Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

Life, Death & The Space Between

Jun 10, 2021

“Life only matters because we die.”

        – Alua Arthur

“There is something absolutely miraculous about standing at the doorway of existence.  I am absolutely humbled by it every time. Rather than it being heavy, there is a lightness of being that goes along with it because there is such a mystery to this human ride.”

        – Alua Arthur




Alua Arthur is a death doula, attorney, adjunct professor, and ordained minister. Her goal is to bring grace and compassion to the cycle of life by planning for it and effortlessly tying up the loose ends. Going with Grace exists to support people when they answer the question, “What must I do to be at peace with myself so that I may die gracefully?”, and to support family members completing the affairs of their loved ones life after death.


I am so excited to have Alua on the show today! Today we talk about:

  • After 10 years as social justice attorney what triggered her transition to career path of death doula
    • First, a literally accidental interaction with a young woman her own age facing death
    • Next, helping a dear, close family member and her family walk toward his death, and the resulting grief and depression
    • Then, deep dive into around the topics of death and dying
  • Along with the heaviness and sadness of death -- there is also laughter, joy, tenderness, compassion; the juicy human emotions along with the difficult ones.
  • The miracle of standing at the very doorway of existence.
  • What she observes as death approaches: more difficulty interacting with the outside world, the life force diminishes, loss of appetite for food and drink, changes in skin. Often followed by a “death rally” just before death.
  • We need a functional and cultural death literacy. Considering things like what happens to the body, finances, stuff, grief, what to say, what to do with leftover medication. We need Death Ed.
  • How unlike as an attorney in court, she is able to cry with clients as a death doula
  • Her organization Going With Grace – teaches how to surrender to the process of death.
  • How death makes life more meaningful. Life only matters because we die.
  • Swedish death cleaning – pairing things down, and holding onto only the essential stuff, considering someone needs to deal with your stuff after you are gone.
  • Alua’s values to live authentically, boldly, as fully as possible.
  • How one of these 365 days is our Death Day!
  • We both talk about what we want our deaths to look like.