Jun 10, 2021
“Life only matters because we die.”
– Alua Arthur
“There is something absolutely miraculous about standing at the
doorway of existence. I am absolutely humbled by it every
time. Rather than it being heavy, there is a lightness of being
that goes along with it because there is such a mystery to this
– Alua Arthur
Alua Arthur is a death doula, attorney, adjunct professor, and
ordained minister. Her goal is to bring grace and compassion to the
cycle of life by planning for it and effortlessly tying up the
loose ends. Going with Grace exists to support people when they
answer the question, “What must I do to be at peace with myself so
that I may die gracefully?”, and to support family members
completing the affairs of their loved ones life after death.
I am so excited to have Alua on the show today! Today we talk
- After 10 years as social justice attorney what triggered her
transition to career path of death doula
- First, a literally accidental interaction with a young woman
her own age facing death
- Next, helping a dear, close family member and her family walk
toward his death, and the resulting grief and depression
- Then, deep dive into around the topics of death and dying
- Along with the heaviness and sadness of death -- there is also
laughter, joy, tenderness, compassion; the juicy human emotions
along with the difficult ones.
- The miracle of standing at the very doorway of existence.
- What she observes as death approaches: more difficulty
interacting with the outside world, the life force diminishes, loss
of appetite for food and drink, changes in skin. Often followed by
a “death rally” just before death.
- We need a functional and cultural death literacy. Considering
things like what happens to the body, finances, stuff, grief, what
to say, what to do with leftover medication. We need Death Ed.
- How unlike as an attorney in court, she is able to cry with
clients as a death doula
- Her organization Going With Grace – teaches how to surrender to
the process of death.
- How death makes life more meaningful. Life only matters because
- Swedish death cleaning – pairing things down, and holding onto
only the essential stuff, considering someone needs to deal with
your stuff after you are gone.
- Alua’s values to live authentically, boldly, as fully as
- How one of these 365 days is our Death Day!
- We both talk about what we want our deaths to look like.
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